What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
