the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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