That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize