im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
