I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Im part way to drunk.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
