Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
