The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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