I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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