I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
