ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
