Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize