just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
