I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I have demons in me.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
