This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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