I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
