my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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