Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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