dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
