so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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