I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
