when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
