yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
