We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
