I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
