is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
