I CAN MOONWALK!
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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