cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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