Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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