My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
