is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
