What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
