This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
