i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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