Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
