it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
