I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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