i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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