if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
