Christians are straight up FREAKS
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
