you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
