Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
