Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
