..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
