Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
