come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
