Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
