God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Randomize