he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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