I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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