He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
