dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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