Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
