I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
