I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
