They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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