this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
